Saturday, April 10, 2010

The most threatening customer ever

That must be me. Allow me to explain...

Today I went to the Barnes and Noble on 86th Street; a fairly normal place to go since I like to read books, and apparently so do a lot of other people. However, I was not greeted by the usual "New Releases" sign. Instead, an intimidating, authoritarian, uniformed black man stared me - and the three other people who entered the store with me - down.
Well, this is a new way to "greet" customers.
After being thoroughly freaked out, I assumed it was just security to make sure no one stole anything from the store. I then proceded down the institutional escalator (the store is downstairs, adding to the institutional, literally-underground feel) and looked around for the poetry section. While I was meandering around the store, I found myself being watched by another security guard; this time, a tall, hulking, bald white man sporting a handgun and beat-you-up stick. The poetry section turned out to be towards the back of the store where yet antoher security guard stood.

A proper greeting

Now, there may have been a bomb threat there today. Okay, that's normal, we are in New York so we have to take precautions. Except that my friend who frequents this Barnes and Noble told me she's had the same experience there - every time she goes in.

So... what, did I look like I was coming into the store to 1: stab the cashier with my oh-so-threatening high heels, 2: ignite the books into a raging fire which would 3: explode the building and all the terrifying bookworms inside? Yeah, sure.
Honestly, I did not like being watched as I perused the works of Frost, Chaucer, Steinbeck and Cummings. And if I had to guess, I'd say that the manga geeks felt the same; so, probably, did the history buffs, the mystery nerds, even the causual reader. Moms with little kids in the children's section must've felt pretty concerned, too.
Like, what the hell, Barnes and Noble?! What up with the random - and unneccessarily scary - security? Are you afraid all the poetry lovers are gonna steal all the anthologies?
OR are you trying to employ more of New York's fine law enforcement team? Then in that case, bravo, B&N, way to do your part during budget-cut time. I'm sure burly, police academy graduates feel uber-manly "guarding" books all day. "So, what are you doing in the force now?" "Oh, I watch skinny nerds read books for six hours." "Wow, you must be so tough!" Yeah, I'm sure that's exactly how it goes.


Helping policemen become more manly one book at a time

All I'm trying to say is, why the need for so much security in a bookstore? One or two guys at the exit where the don't-steal-books-alarm is makes sense. It's scary having people stare at you while you're trying to find the latest Stephenie Meyer book (as if you don't feel judged enough)! If terrorists aren't coming into B&N, then I really don't see a need for such security measures. A word to the bookstore chain: your bad business tactic is gonna lose you customers.

xxo, S

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