My first cavity experience

Today I went to get my cavities taken care of. And let me tell you, I’m about 89% positive that getting your first cavity as an adult is way more traumatizing than getting it as a child. (This may also have something to do with the fact that I had four cavities – four!)

I get to the dentist office and, for the first time ever, don’t have to wait more than a minute. I guess when you have cavities, they feel bad for you, so you don’t have to wait as long. Anyway, I get all set up in my chair… I am totally freaking out!

Reason #1 Why Cavities are More Traumatizing as an Adult: No one feels the need to soothe you that it will all be okay in the end. You’re expected to put big kid pants on yourself and deal with it.

The Dentist comes in makes some small talk (“You’re going back to school soon, right? Cool.”) and then we get to poking around in my mouth. After assessing that yes, I do still have four cavities, he explains that we will 1) Numb my mouth on the left side only where the deeper cavities are 2) Use a laser on the right side of my mouth where the shallow cavity is and 3) Use “manual tools” on the deeper cavities.

I’m sorry, manual tools? Is that the new terminology now, not “drill?” Because I’m pretty sure it’s just going to be a drill, a big DePaul-whatever-Mach-5000 drill bit going in my tooth and rattling my skull.

Reason #2 Why Cavities are More Traumatizing as an Adult: You can come up with some pretty elaborate yet realistic situations that you might find yourself in. As a child, everything is still (evil) unicorns and fairytales gone wrong. I’m pretty sure a DeWalt-Volt-16-Megawatts drill is a real thing (sorry unicorns).

So the Dentist and Assistant swipe some numbing gel on my left side. And I know what comes next: an anesthetic needle. Needle! Give me a mountain, I’ll climb it. Write me a speech, I’ll deliver it. Show me sharp medical tools, I’ll probably freak out. In anticipation of a needle arriving in my gums, I look up at the ceiling. Waaaayyyyyyyy up. The Dentist warns me that I might feel a little pinch and then inserts the loooonnnnnngg pointy needle into my mouth. As he’s doing this, he shakes my jaw a little, for what reason, I don’t know. But it only makes this even more nerve-wracking – and not just because they are literally inserting anesthesia into my nerves.

Two scary shots later, and I’m well on my way to numbness. Dentist and Assistant take this time to go get the laser machine from the other room. A shiny piece of equipment on wheels, it was not what I was expecting (a satellite-shaped ray gun, perhaps?) but its resemblance to all the other dental tools is reassuring. The Dentist then informs me that I will wear a special pair of glasses to protect me from the laser. The Assistant places a pair of green-tinted glasses shaped like something you might see on a BMX biker awkwardly onto my face. And suddenly, this whole experience has become something out of a bad 1950s sci-fi TV movie.

The green tint of the lenses turned the room a sickly two-tone color scheme; two mask-wearing figures are looming on the sides of my vision; an overly-bright dental lamp hovers over my face, only partially blocking my view of the dated fluorescent light on the ceiling. The Dentist is even wearing an extra set of goggles over his regular specs, obscuring his face entirely, and wielding a laser for goodness’ sake! which gives this entire operation an air of alien-invasion mixed with futuristic-science.

what I thought was happening

what was actually happening

Deciding it is still too risky to look at the scary dentist tools, my eyes find themselves firmly fixed on the ceiling. Anyone who has been to a dental hygienist office before knows what this ceiling looks like: 12”x12” white squares with random dots to cushion the noise. I must have been staring at them for too long because I began to see a crescent shape in the dots that formed a haphazard smiley face. Before I knew it, I was staring at the Cheshire Cat’s devilish grin.

Reason #3 Why Cavities are More Traumatizing as an Adult: Your imagination is still (overly) active. But with more wildly-child-unfriendly movie scenes for flavor.

More and more tools passed between the two masked figures. Laser, spit-sucking-tube, water-sprayer, flame torch… no really, there was a noise in my mouth that sounded like a flame thrower.

As I continued to stare at the ceiling, I saw strange patterns that shifted and morphed before my very eyes, through the green lenses filter: Preppy coral, lava lamp blobs… Focusing on the fluorescent light, I saw more patterns: green hipster Navajo… Pistol-shaped tooth polishing tool passes through my line of vision…

And then it was over! The glasses came off and Dentist declared me done!

And just in time because any more of that and I might’ve gone running straight out the door and into the HUAC committee meetings and begged McCarthy to save me from the Russian Alien doctors planting tracking chips in my enamel.

Reason #4 Why Cavities are More Traumatizing as an Adult: You have historical references of what happens when science, medicine, and politics go awry.

So that is what it is like for a college student getting their first cavity. I hope it never happens to you. Or if it does/did, that your mouth is not still numb two hours later (like mine is right now).

The end.

Purpose

On Saturday morning, I woke up to my phone alarm buzzing and had a mini bout of confusion:
What day is it?
Where am I?
Am I late for something?
What am I supposed to do today?

Quickly, I realized that nothing had changed: I was still at home in my room, it was Saturday, and I had no plans to be late for. Phew!
But why was I so quick to assume that it was going to be another busy day?

For seven weeks straight (except weekends of course) I had been working as an intern. Waking up early, remembering project due dates and meeting times, getting dressed nicely – you know. Working.
As I came to the final stretch (a.k.a. last five days), I realized that I was really going to miss the demanding yet reassuring atmosphere I had spent the majority of my summer in. From my bubbly boss to my super-smart co-intern, from projects spanning six time zones to commuting on three different routes, everything about the working world was shiny and new to me. I at once loved and hated it.
Loved, because people were actually using the work I did for them, asking me specifically to work on certain projects, and were driven, intelligent, and graceful.
Hated, because there wasn’t always work for me to do, between botched communication, hectic schedules, and the fact that I was just an intern.

this is who I worked for! :)

For seven weeks this was my life! I learned so much (a story for another time) and was sad to leave. Of course, I was glad for the weekends during my internship. But suddenly, on the Saturday after my internship was over, I thought I had to be somewhere.
After some lovely introspective meditation, I have come to this conclusion: I was work-sick!
In the weirdest way, I wanted to be getting up and having a purpose that day because I knew that my job was over (forever???).

Instead, I turned that Saturday into a chill day. On Sunday, we went to New Jersey to visit family (and had so much fun! I jumped off the high dive for the first time in ages… terrifying… I can’t wait to do it again). And on Monday, I threw myself into high gear again and began research on Aix (since, you know, I haven’t really done that yet – oops).

sitting on the porch at our new house, doing research

it's like being outside... but inside

So you see: Sad as I was to be “purpose-less” without my internship, I found a “new” purpose. Being a student in France – une étudiante française.

T -5 days!

xxo, S

Pro-blogger? That's me!

I'M ACCEPTED AS AN OFFICIAL BLOGGER FOR MY STUDY ABROAD PROGRAM!
Woohooooo!!!

That means you can catch up on all my official student activity at the IAU blog:
http://iaufrance.weebly.com/stephanie.html

I'll keep it updated for them about more scholarly things, but here is where I'll put all the good adventures, silly commentary, and (best) pictures... shhh, don't tell ;)

Countdown: T- 6 days to liftoff! ...um, I mean takeoff.

xxo, S

Press pause

It's been a while since I've done a cold post, but I figured this was as good a time as any.

Darling readers, I think I may have to have a social media hiatus soon. The Internet has become overwhelming and I am on overload.

How is this possible, you say? The once self-proclaiming Queen of Social Media is done?
Well, much like any pro athlete, celebrity, or politician, my hay day is over; the sun is setting; a new wave is coming; and many other clichés you can apply here.

While I will always love the power of the Internet, this summer has given me a large overdose. Like they say, too much of a good thing is bad. Of course, I will still be blogging (how else am I supposed to log my fantastic journey to France??!) but Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest... all of those will see a little break from me.

I can't believe this is something I have to think about! Social media has exploded in the past five years, captivating millions of people around the globe. Yet there are some who can hardly live without it! Online world, it's been real, but I'm excited to get the chance to go back to the real world.

On a side note, I've been working on some pieces for Colourscape. And just you wait for all my France shenanigans!

xxo, S

Thoughts Before Abroad

As mentioned in an early blog post, this is my submission to the IAU's "Featured Blogger Program."

My travel plans will bring me to Aix a little less than one week before classes begin. This means I’ll get to adjust to the town a bit. I seriously love exploring and I’m used to walking everywhere – pas de problème. Hopefully, during my first days in Aix, I’ll find a great café to chill at. Now wait just a second, I know it sounds cliché! But this girl is one serious coffee lover. You find me a latte and book and I’m set for the day.

I don’t know much about the town of Aix. Is it small? Is it big? (Obviously not as large as Marseille.) I do wish we were slightly closer to the beach. Is there a river in Aix? Where are the parks? These are the questions I hope to answer for myself within a few days of my arrival.

What’s that you say? I should Google it or pick up a Lonely Planet guide? To that I say: Did they have Google in Cézanne’s day? Did Hemmingway read Frommer’s?

I didn’t think so.

I’m a “just wing it!” kind of person. Travelling is one of my greatest pleasures. Coffee is another. I’ve been studying French since I was 11 years old, in the sixth grade.

So, personally, it’s not the language or the travelling that’s got me most freaked out. It’s this idea of starting at a new school again. I went to the same school almost my whole life. Being “the new kid” is not something I’m very accustomed to. My friends would tell you that, once I’m comfortable around people, you’d be hard pressed to get me to shut my trap. But getting to that level of comfort takes a while. The fact that I’ll be living with people I’ve never met before and navigating a city I’ve never been to before will only add to the time it will take for me to get comfortable.

All right, pep talk time: realistically, you only get to study abroad once. That means you better make the most of it. As Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.”

Motto for the fall? Heck yeah it is.

No really, we’re getting t-shirts.

In other super-exciting news, my visa is good to go! Before I went, I was ridiculously (some might have said irrationally) nervous that the Consulate would deny my request for a visa. Thankfully, that didn’t happen and the visa process went smoothly for me. Being from New York, I got to go two whole times to the Consulate. As we say in New York, “Oy vey!”

The first time was a painstakingly long two hours of muffled loudspeaker announcements where you weren’t really sure if they were speaking French or English until you heard your name – “Stephanie, window two please” – and thumb-twiddling. One thing they should add to that helpful little checklist on the Consulate website is “Bring a book or large amount of paperwork as you will have no cell phone or Internet access.”

On the plus side, I had a great conversation with two other college juniors who are going abroad in France! One had just flown in from her internship in San Francisco (she’s from NY originally and therefore fell under our jurisdiction) and was going back for her third trip to France in four years. She had so much to say about the tiniest towns! The other was – get ready – another IAU student! We both discovered we’re going to be in Aix this fall and instantly bonded over college life, visa stress, and excitement for France. Would you look at that, I’m one small step ahead in this friend-making game.

The second time I went to the Consulate (to pick up my visa; NY won’t mail it to you), I saw my fellow IAU classmate again on my way out. Just a quick “Hi! Bye!” this time since we are trying to get out of that place as quickly as possible. Visit numéro deux was, delightfully, only one hour. Phew!

So now I’ve got my visa! Nothing can stop me now (Except the weight limit on checked baggage. Hey, we girls need our shoes and this is France we’re talking about, remember?).

To Aix-en-Provence, and beyond!!!

xxo, S

IAU Blogger Program

SO, the IAU, which is the school I'll be studying at in Aix, has "Featured Student Bloggers" program. They sent out an email (three, actually) encouraging students to apply for it.
When I hear the word "Apply" I usually get freaked out for two reasons, both of which make sense to me but not others.

Reason One:
Time. I don't want to sit down and do paperwork and fill out a form. Especially the part that usually goes something like "Tell me about yourself" or "You friends would describe you as..." Dude, I don't freakin' know what my friends would describe me as! That's why they would describe me that way. Ugh - overall, the time it takes to to the whole "applying" thing is very daunting.

Reason Two:
Rejection. What if they don't like what I submit? Especially when it comes to something like my writing, I'm sensitive to why someone might decline to have me blog for them. I don't write for other people... but I definitely care what people think of my writing! Not that I am opposed to criticism or edits - any writer knows you must take all that in stride. BUT I get a little disappointed when someone else's writing gets picked over mine.

Anyway, they gave us a few questions to answer as we write our first blog post. We'll submit it - if they like it, you're in! Submissions will be accepted based on quality of material and depth of reflection. Eep! I hope my reflections are "deep" enough for them.

I'm going to post what I submitted to the IAU. Because I think it's good and that you should all read it. All of it is true and would have ended up here at some point anyway.
And if they do pick someone else to blog for them, oh well. I still get to blog for you guys and it's the best!

xxo, S

Stairwell Encounter

At my work, there is a door, a tiny space with a window, and another door that goes to the stairs. I always take the stairs down because we're only on the 4th floor. No one else ever takes the stairs, I think because they don't live in a college dorm 9 months out of the year.

tiny landing between the two doors

As I approach the first door, I hear some sound, but just go to open the door anyway and then the voices suddenly stop. And I try to open the door but it doesnt move. And someone's voice goes "Hello?" And I go, "Um hi, it's just, um I wanted to - I was just going to take the stairs if - um, can I do that? Is that okay? Uhhhhh." And then Founder J's head pops around the door and he's like, "What? Oh yeah, sure!" 

And so he opens the door a little and me and my pink polka dot DZ bag squeeze through and then it's me, Founder J, and Founder A all standing in this tiny space for about 10 seconds as I make my way to the 2nd door to go down the stairs.

Just as I'm opening the door to leave, Founder A turns and goes, "Wait! Do you have a lighter?" and the two guys stare at me and I'm so panicked and confused and frightened all I do is say, "No I'm so sorry!!!!" and then turn around and bolt down the stairs.

And my heart was pounding all the way until I got home. I was really sure that someone was going to run after me.

Countdown to Aix

It’s AUGUST!

And I’m thinking, “Woah, already?!” because that means there’s one month until I’m in France!!! Study abroad cannot come soon enough… or can it?

My internship this summer has been more than I could’ve wished for. But it’s still a full time job – and boy, am I glad I’m still in college! I definitely still miss school and all my friends there, so I’m ready for summer to be over (am I really saying this??). At the same time, when September rolls around this year, I won’t be heading back to the campus I’ve grown to know like the back of my hand these past two years. Nope, I’m going to Aix, where the only sure thing is that I will have not a clue that first day.

We all remember that first day of freshman year. You and your roommate psyching each other up for “oh my god, your first college class ever!” Well that got old fast, didn’t it?

Now, we’re big bad juniors. And while some of our colleagues back in the U.S. are going to celebrate their new level of upperclassmenship, we’ll be looking around for Art 101… mais en français.

Okay, not everyone on my trip is going to be dealing with this overload of foreign language. But I somehow got myself on the French Honors Program. Which means I’ll get a nice giant serving of full immersion. I’d prefer it to be a huge serving of brie, but we students take what we get, n’est pas?

So that means I’ve been brushing up on my French (un petit peu) and practicing my bises (not really – Americans would be so freaked out by that). Actually, madames et messieurs, I did get a little smart – only a little, I promise – and changed my computer clock to 24-hour time, my weather app to Celsius, and my Facebook language to French. There! Three simple ways to prepare myself. Combine that with the sleep schedule you develop working a “real job,” and nous sommes prêtes pour la France, mes amis!

I’m going to go work on a little playlist I’ve been preparing for the trip (what’s on it, you ask? Details coming soon…) BUT my excitement builds with every day that counts down to le 2 septembre (A.K.A. my flight to Marseille)!

xxo, S